Today marks 20 years since "the end of the big G". So why not take a look back.
The first time I came across Godzilla was through the 1998 movie. I really liked it, but this came from a kid that also thought Shark Tale was great, so take it with a grain of salt. It's not as bad as everyone says it is, but I recognize its flaws.
Then in 2011, I saw a movie that would introduce me to the creature's original routes. That movie was Final Wars. It changed the idea of what a monster movie could be for me. They didn't had to be slow, gloomy, or serious (not that the giant iguana was uber serious in the movie or in the TV series), but instead they could also be fast, over the top, and most importantly: they could somehow be badass and silly, without any of the two genres pushing back the other one.
It was made to serve as a standoff for Gojira, coinciding with it's 50th anniversary. After half a century of Toho features, people saw everything from:
- Anti-nuclear metaphors
- Explosions
- ERB
- S tier tiktok dances
- A rich cast of memorable monsters
- Anti pollution activism
- Pro-drugs PSAs (it was the 70s, what did you expect)
- And epic fights
So after all that, they came up with a movie that tried to pay respects to all series and shove as many kaijus as possible (almost not having screentime for all of them). No, seriously, was Ebirah more important than my boy Jaguar?! You can give it to the dog, 'cause ain't no way I'm eating my lobster after that.
The movie in itself also has its fair share of other things you wouldn't expect to see in a kaiju film such as matrix-like fights; 50 cent costume at Hot Topic (that or those Spaceballs-looking aliens from the 70s, you choose)...
Motor cycle fights; alien shitstorm invasions; New Yorkers according to Zilla haters;
Short but epic fights to replicate with the Jock dorks in the Basketball team;
Blowing Heads for all the Talking Heads;
The introduction of amputees to a whole new generation of horny goths and rule 34 artists (don't believe me? Look for MaxVonDraken's channel. Bro sure is thirsty for some of deez)
Fights in the snow; power rangers-like fights... Yeah, everyone fights in this movie. If you had just finished listening to a RATM album and started fighting a tree pretending you're fighting capitalism, you probably could had been cast for this movie.
But of course, no one can talk about this feature without mentioning Godzi-
DON FRYE
No joke. Who would have thought that goji fans would receive the grace of an MMA legend at this birthday party? He steals every scene he's at. It's like he's an alternate version of Mario where he takes the mushroom pill, beats Bowser's ass in an iron fist match and only goes to the right castle, 'cause Peach isn't trying to push the two to some kind of NTR situation like in the games (yeah, I said it Nintendo. Come sue my ass, everyone will know it's canon). The memes are endless and he should come back the next time Toho does an anniversary of Godzilla in this scale.
Okay, let's cut the bullshit for once. The G (not the D, 'cause that's for another news post). He looks awesome. If you liked that Heisei design but felt he was too caked for you, and wanted a bit of an updated design to combine with your MySpace profile, then it's your lucky day. His design is so detailed and stylish while also being very fit and makes the suit actor able to actually move, something that was a frequent problem in all previous productions.
Oh, and that Hyper red ray throwback for the final boss. Dude, that's sick. Not kidding, I actually had an old hotmail with the profile pic of that image. It was that level of rizz. Fun fact, he was actually gonna be even more edgy, looking like a Marilyn Mason pet.
Wonder how that would work out. One thing's for sure, that would explain the existence of that AMV of the movie with MM's cover of This is Halloween I saw. I would love to show ya, but I think it was deleted. Maybe his christian parents were too shocked by such an heretic audio. Speaking of audio, never thought Sum 41 and city destruction would fit so perfectly.
Anyways, that's what I wanted to say. The movie's a banger. It's actually my favorite one right after the original. Before you come lashing, I haven't seen Minus One yet. Who knows, maybe it's even better than Final Wars *saying this with my fingers crossed*
